Man, I Feel Like A Woman
by AppleCiderVinegar
Summary: Kurama is 17, and his human aspect is ready to kick Youko out. But when Kurama's split into Youko and human, something will be revealed about Shuuichi that no one would ever have thought.
1. The Beginning

**The redheaded Kurama sat meditatively on a park bench. Suddenly, he felt something inside him split. He stood, and immediately was split into two different people. Kurama stood in his Youko form, staring at an even more feminine looking than normal Shuuichi.**

**"Who are you?"**

**"I'm the owner of this body, you (bleep)-head."**

**"Whoa, my dreams are censored..."**

**"No, just me."******

**"What's up with your voice?"**

**"What do you mean?"**

**"It's more high-pitched than normal."**

**"What the (bleep) are you talking about? That's your voice in my body, smart one."**

**"Listen up, wise guy; I've had about enough of you."**

**"I'm not a guy!"**

**"What!?"******

**"I. Am. Female."**

**"No you're not!"**

**"I've been letting you borrow my body for 16 years, because I'm that nice and unterritorial, while you gained your former strength. But now that you're back to your former strength, I want some time with Mom before I have to leave for college."**

**"..."**

**"Ok, let me put in simple terms. If you hadn't decided to assume my identity, I would have been born female, like I am in this dream world. I'm 16 now, and want my body back. I do have the power to get it back, even if you're uncooperative."**

**"No way in hell am I giving you back your body! I'm not recognized by demons, which gives me a distinct advantage!"**

**"Oh sure, it's all about advantages, isn't it? Well let me tell you something!" The red-haired girl yelled. "Every demon in every world knows you no matter what form you take! You've blown your (bleep)-ing cover, (bleep)-hole!" Youko Kurama was taken aback. "That's right! And if you (bleep)-ing get yourself (bleep)-ing killed in my (bleep)-ing body, I die too, (bleep)-hole!"**

**"Hey, I haven't gotten killed!"**

**"Yet.**** How many times have you ALMOST died!?"**

**"Not many."**

**"Really?**** Let's see...when you were younger and Mom got hurt saving you from a broken dish, that's one...and the whole Forlorn Hope incident, not that I mind you wanting to sacrifice yourself for Mom, that's two...and during the Four Saint Beasts, when Genbu almost cut you open, that's three...and the guy with the makeup during the Dark Tournament, that's four...and when you fought Touya in the Dark Tournament, that's five...and after you passed out, when Yusuke had to save your heiney from the guy who was going to kill you, that's six...and your fight with Karasu, that's seven..."**

**"Ok, I get the point. I can be a little bit reckless at times."**

**"Reckless my heiney.**** Those are just the times I can remember off the top of my head. There's dozens more. You know what your problem is? You relish in the knowledge that you now have two bodies, and if one dies, you can always go to the other one. You think you're immortal, don't you?" The red-haired girl's green eyes blazed with fury. "Well let me tell you something, Mr. Fox Demon: you're not, and neither am I! You need to learn that you can't always depend on others to bail your heiney out of tight spots. Now you were lucky 16 years ago when you came to me asking for help. But I...want...my...body...back!" Female Shuuichi screamed, and her rant echoed in Youko Kurama's head as the two merged once more, and he fell out of the dream world.**


	2. What?

"My God, what a nightmare." Kurama awoke the next morning, head swimming. With a shake of his head, the disorientation vanished.

"I need a shower. Hopefully it'll clear my head a little bit." Kurama mumbled. He took off his pajama shirt, and stood in front of the mirror as a yawn interrupted his thoughts. After the yawn had passed, Kurama looked at himself in the mirror, and screamed. Disbelievingly, Kurama delicately touched his chest. Normally it would be flat, like it should be, but it wasn't today. The rest of Kurama was as slim as normal, so it couldn't be man-boobs. Kurama's green eyes widened when he realized that his manhood was gone as well!

_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! _Kurama thought. _It couldn't be...she couldn't be kicking me out of this body! It's impossible! It's unheard of! It just plain won't work!_

_Whatever makes you think it won't work, Kurama?_ A female voice sounded in his head. _Today, Kurama. By the end of the day, we'll both have our bodies back. I swear it. _The voice faded away, and Kurama knew he was doomed.

"...shit."

"...shit, Kurama, absolute shit." Yusuke said. Kurama, after his shower, had bound his chest (a most unpleasant experience), gotten dressed, and gone to the park, it being Saturday. Yusuke's comment had been preceded by 'You look like...'

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Yusuke asked.

"Personal difficulties." Kurama wasn't lying. The reason, Kurama guessed, behind Yusuke's comment was that Kurama was sure that because of the bindings, circulation was being cut off somewhere.

"Whatever. Damn it to hell, where are Kuwabara and Hiei!" Yusuke yelled. "They were supposed to be here by now."

"What for, Yusuke?" Kurama kept his words clipped, because it also felt like his lungs were being crushed.

"Pacifier-breath gave us a new assignment."

_Oh no, not today._

"What kind of assignment?"

"Some demons got into the human world, and they're hunting down all half-demons."

"Let me guess: then they kill them."

"You got it." Kurama couldn't take it anymore. He'd literally explode if he didn't get his chest unbound soon!

"Yusuke, there's something I need to tell you."

"Sorry bud, but I don't swing that way."

"Yusuke!" Kurama blushed. "That wasn't what I was going to say!"

"I'm pretty sure Kuwabara doesn't swing that way either, Kurama."

"Damn it Yusuke!" Kurama frantically unbuttoned the top six buttons of his blue shirt, revealing the binding.

"Did the demons come after you already?" Yusuke began freaking out, thinking that Kurama was wounded.

"No, Yusuke. Please, untie the bandages." Kurama wheezed, unable to get enough oxygen. Yusuke reluctantly untied the knot, furtively glancing from the knot, to Kurama, then back to the knot. When the knot was untied, Kurama thanked Yusuke, and then unwound the bandage from around his chest. The area directly around the bandages was stark white, and where the bandages themselves had been, there were red strips. As Kurama unbound his chest, his new assets filled out his blue shirt in the front.

"WHOA NO NO NO!" Yusuke yelled, jumping back, arms raised. Kurama finished unbinding his chest, and he took the bandage and wrapped it around his hand.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?" Yusuke screeched, pointing at Kurama's chest. Kurama sighed as he buttoned his shirt back up, able to breathe again at last.

"The human half of me is kicking me out."

"THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE BOOB JOB!"

"Yes it does. Ever wonder why I appear so feminine, Yusuke? It's apparently because my human form was going to be female until I interfered." Kurama said. Kuwabara and Hiei took that precise moment to walk up, arguing as usual.

"See, Kurama will agree with me!" Kuwabara yelled. "Won't yo-OH MY GOD! KURAMA YOU HAVE BOOBS!"

"I know, Kuwabara." Kurama sighed. Hiei stared wide-eyed at Kurama, not able to take his eyes off of Kurama's chest.

"Where the hell did those come from?" Hiei asked.

"My human host is kicking me out."

"..."

"My human form was going to be female until I intervened."

"No wonder you look so girly!" Kuwabara shouted. Yusuke high-fived him. Kurama and Hiei glared darkly at them.

"I'm not amused." Kurama said.

"I am!" Yusuke said, grinning like an idiot.

"Because of your new femininity, is it right to assume that..." Hiei glanced at Kurama's lap, "Is gone too?" Kurama blushed a deep scarlet.

"Hiei!" Kurama hissed.

"Hee hee, yeah, is it gone too, Kurama?" Yusuke nudged Kurama with his elbow, grinning like an even bigger idiot. Kurama blushed deeper and looked down at his lap, cheeks now darker than his hair. Tears of humiliation welled in his green eyes.

"Whoa, Kurama, are you crying?" Kuwabara asked. Kurama turned away from him.

"Leave me alone." He declared tearfully.

"Hey, Kurama, I'm sorry." Yusuke said. He didn't want to alienate the redhead, after seeing Kurama fight, Yusuke knew that wasn't a wise thing to do.

"Fat lot of good that does me!" Kurama cried. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to be male your entire lives, and then overnight switch genders? Obviously not!" Kurama stood up and ran off, sobbing loudly. Yusuke twirled his finger at his temple.

"Mood swings. Shizuru has 'em all the time." Kuwabara said. "We're lucky Kurama didn't decide to get mad." The carrot-top let Yusuke and Hiei imagine the rest. Botan appeared on her trademark oar, and looked around.

"Oh poo, I was hoping Kurama would be here with you." Botan said, dismounting her oar.

"He was, until just a second ago." Kuwabara said.

"Yeah, then his mood did a 360 and he ran off crying." Yusuke said. Botan whacked him with her oar.

"YOOOOU NINCOMPOOPS!" Botan yelled, sprouting pointed teeth and a pressure point. "DON'T YOU IDIOTS REALIZE THAT HE'S A HALF-DEMON?" Botan ran off, shouting Kurama's name. Hiei flitted off in his traditional fashion, leaving Kuwabara and Yusuke. They looked at each other, and then ran off, each yelling for Kurama.

Meanwhile

Kurama sat under a tree, knees pulled up to his chest with his arms folded on top of them, sobbing. A brown-haired woman recognized him and walked over.

"Kurama?" She asked cautiously. Kurama looked up and met his bleary, bloodshot gaze with hers.

"Shizuru?" He asked. Her brown eyes softened a little bit, and she sat down beside him.

"What did my brother do now?" Shizuru asked.

"Look at me, Shizuru! I'm a he/she! Yusuke and Kuwabara were teasing me because of these!" Kurama made exaggerated motions toward his new breasts. Shizuru looked at them, then cocked her head.

"Why were they teasing you?" Shizuru asked. "They look normal to me." She smiled kindly at the distraught Kurama. "Only thing that's not normal is their teasing brought you to tears."

"See, you think I'm girly too!" Kurama sobbed.

"No, I don't think you're girly, Kurama. I can sense your combined energy of human and demon splitting into those exact parts. I only have to look at you to tell what's going on." She put a hand comfortingly on Kurama's back.

"Really?" Kurama sniffled.

"Would I lie to you?" Shizuru asked, standing. "Now come on, let's go get you some clothes that fit your new physique." She reached out her hand, offering to help Kurama to his feet. He looked up at her and smiled, grabbing her hand. Shizuru pulled Kurama to his feet, and the two walked out of the park, headed to a nearby shopping center.

Meanwhile

Hiei met up with Botan, and both had to admit their lack of success in finding Kurama. Even with Hiei's Jagan eye scanning the entire park, Kurama hadn't been found.

"It's obvious he's not in the park." Hiei said. "Perhaps we should broaden our search."

"Ooooh, Koenma's going to kill me!" Botan cried, mounting her oar. "Hiei, you go find Yusuke and Kuwabara and tell them to start looking outside the park! I'll start looking!"

"Or I could use my Jagan eye to find him, and then we go get him." Botan made her kitty face.

"Of course, that works too!" She grinned. Hiei's already exposed Jagan glowed green. The glow faded.

"Well?" Botan asked.

"Hn. The kitsune is with Kuwabara's sister."

"Well, that's a relief." Botan sighed. "But where are they?"

"I think you humans call it a 'shopping center'. It's very close to here." Hiei said. "I'll go get the kitsune. You go find the detective." He said. Botan made her kitty face again.

"Yes, yes, of course!" She said, flying off in search of Yusuke and Kuwabara. Hiei flitted away toward the shopping center, where Kurama had cheered up quite a bit while shopping with Shizuru and Keiko, who they ran into at the shopping center.


End file.
